Therapeutic Parenting

Therapeutic parenting can help families who are struggling with children who show emotional distress, challenging behaviour and insecurity.

The fact that this approach focuses on parents doesn’t mean the problems are parents’ fault. It’s just that some children need very particular parenting approaches that are hard to stumble across by accident. Parent work is an incredibly important part of our work for lots of different reasons. It allows time and space for a good relationship to develop between you and your therapist and time for us all to get to grips with your child’s unique needs. In our therapeutic parenting sessions, we will think carefully about your family’s journey so far and about how you are managing the challenges you are facing (and may well have been facing for a long time!).

Some of the questions we might be thinking about together are:

• What is driving your child’s more challenging behaviours?
• What are they experiencing emotionally?
• How does this impact on the relationship between you?

We can offer you a range of ideas around how you can adapt your parenting approach based on your child’s particular needs. We can help you put new ideas into practice in your day-to-day parenting and think together about what works and what doesn’t.

Our work will be unique to your family. We don’t operate a ‘one-size-fits-all’ approach and we will always work together with you to make sure we are providing the best support possible!

This is a group programme written by Kim Golding for adoptive parents, carers with an SGO, foster carers or birth parents of children who experienced early trauma. It is designed to help participants to learn how to enhance their relationship with their child and be more therapeutic in their parenting. It’s a friendly, fun and inspiring group that really helps!

Our therapeutic parenting group is adapted from Kim Golding’s Foundations for Attachment (2017). It is based on the Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy (DDP) and Practice Model developed by Dan Hughes (2011).

Group format: The group consists of six sessions delivered over six weeks. Each session will be three hours long. The programme is divided in to three modules: two sessions per module.

Group size: maximum 18 parents (ideally in pairs when possible)

Location: Currently Online (can be offered nationally)

Cost: £650 per person £1200 for couples (parenting the same child). The groups can usually be paid for using ASF funding (For adopters and carers with an SGO).

This NVR based programme is for adoptive parents, foster carers, carers with an SGO and birth parents. It is designed to address the behaviour of children who are showing violent and destructive behaviours (including self-destructive behaviours). We always make sure our groups are warm, friendly, safe and inspiring.

This group can help with:

• Violence towards carers, other children in the home or pets
• School refusal
• Running away
• Self-harm
• Drink and drug use
• Isolating themselves

This group is not suitable for:

• High levels of violence involving weapons / regular police involvement
• Young people involved in gang activity
• Parents or carers in ‘Blocked Care’ who no longer want to continue with a placement
• Carers who believe that the child is responsible for resolving the difficulties
• Families where the young person is actively suicidal or psychotic
• Families under child protection
• Parents or carers who cannot commit to the sessions

Many carers report that their confidence grows and as they begin to feel less helpless dealing with a difficult young person, they find that their energy returns.

Our therapeutic parenting group is adapted from Day and Heismann (2015) It is based on the Non-Violent Resistance (NVR) therapy model.

Sessions are available both online and face-to-face.

Face-to-Face Group Format: The group consists of eight sessions delivered over eight weeks. Each session lasts for 2.5 hours.

Group size: Maximum 20 parents (ideally in pairs where possible).

Location: Our clinic is based in Bloxwich, West Midlands.

Cost: £650 per person. £1200 per couple (any two people supporting the same child). Carers with an SGO can usually access the Adoption Support Fund (ASF) to fund the group.

Online Group Format: This group also consists of eight sessions delivered over eight weeks. Each session lasts for 2.5 hours.

Group Size: 7-10 couples.

Location: Online using Zoom.

Cost: £650 per person. £1200 per couple (any two people supporting the same child). Carers with an SGO can usually access the Adoption Support Fund (ASF) to fund the group.

How does the Non-Violent Resistance (NVR) programme work?

Carers learn to resist the violence or controlling behaviour step by step, building on their experiences, support they receive, and their growing confidence. NVR is not a talking therapy and the young person is not engaged in any conversations about what may be causing him or her to feel angry or to lose control. The resistance uses action instead of talking. Talking is kept to a minimum and consists mainly of brief announcements or declarations, which are used to communicate what kind of action carers are taking and why.

There are four areas in which carers, with support, become active:

• De-escalation – Carers develop strategies to manage risk, without getting involved in fruitless power struggles.
• Breaking taboos – After months or years of ‘walking on eggshells’ and feeling they have to give in to their child’s demands if they wish to maintain peace in the family, carers learn to strategically ‘break the rules’ their child has set up for the family.
• Taking non-violent action – Consequences and punishment no longer work. Carers raise their presence by carefully planned, delayed action within the home, and in the outside environment.
• Reconciliation gestures – Certain gestures show young people that their families care about them. They help carers and children or young people relate to one another beyond the aggression.

Is this right for me or the family/carer I am supporting?

This process does need time and commitment from parents or carers for the eight weekly sessions in order to be effective. Those parenting or caring as a couple are encouraged to attend together, single parents or carers are very welcome to bring a trusted friend or supporter.

Consent will also be required from the person/people that hold Parental Responsibility for the child and children in the household.

Sessions are most helpful for families or carers who can relate the material to a specific child or children in their care.